Dear John:

You are allowed to have as much time as you need to sort your shit out.

You are NOT fucking allowed to lead me on, make emotional love to me and build up my expectations, only to let me down in the moment so you can be the “good guy.”

XO ~T

 On Christmas Day:

• My father told my nieces that I actually fly around on a broom (we were make believing that I was a reindeer, due to the brown felt antlers on my head), and no one in my family, including my sister, stood up for me.
• My mother told me to call me whenever I need help, because she would try to help me if it was smart.
• My estranged husband texted me at 10 pm for the first time all day to thank me for dropping off his mail "and merry christmas."
• And the man with whom I am in love offered to sing me to sleep, except I had to decline because we're not talking because he still lives with his wife.

It is safe to say that I have never been loved unconditionally by anyone in my entire life.  Yeah.  Merry fucking Christmas ya filthy animals.
So here's to 2018 and learning to be the parent, sibling, and lover I've never had, to defeating shame, and to striving for wholeness of self (or whatever the fuck that is).